April 27, 2024 Diary

My legs feels like 20 minute cooked ramen noodles. I like it though 👌 Can't think of much to share today but if you want a TMI rant that I might delete later:

When I look and observe the people around me, it really makes me sad how I'll never know what it's like to have a loving family. Only 4 members growing up. Currently, we are almost all estranged from each other. One messed up thing is that my mother prevented us from ever knowing my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc. I don't even know their names to even begin searching. My mom has undiagnosed mental illnesses she refuses to get help and it's obvious all 3 of her adult children also have some form of mental illness too. Only 2 of us have actually been diagnosed. My mom and sister refuse to get help and it greatly saddens me. Both are so unhinged and exhausting to be around. I dread talking to any of them because no matter what positive news I have to share they always seem to twist it around to make it negative just always bringing such miserable energy every interaction. Now that I have a family of my own - only 3 of us - I'm glad my son knows a lot of his dad's side of the family. Oddly enough my mother is the only one I am on best terms with despite such a horrible and abusive childhood. You would have never guessed that sweet woman I talk to now is the same exact one who used to be so goddamn abusive to me as a kid. My sister loved to gaslight me saying only herself was the one abused and I was making mine up for attention 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 That's the type of shit I had to go through.

Day 27 of 54 of the FB FIT Round 1 Program. All videos from Fitness Blender unless noted. 

REST DAYYYYY!!!!

Shit, it actually wasn't!! Retroactively updating this post.

-10 Minute Stress Busting Yoga Pilates Workout Didn't do this one today.

Today's food logs are just so out of wack. I had a personal issue problem. No excuses.