April 16, 2024 Diary

Confession: the reason why I started my weight loss journey this year is for superficial reasons. We actually got invited to a wedding in October but the last wedding we went to (last year) I was a miserable fat blob. For this upcoming wedding, I actually wanted to not only to fit in a cute black dress again but to "show off" how skinny and gorgeous I can actually be like I was in my 20s. We have a handful of family in Maryland but unfortunately, they never knew what I was like when I has light in my eyes BUT they all met me when I was just a broken shell of a human. They are middle to upper class people so I could tell it affected how they viewed and treated me. Part of me thinks it might even be because I am a different race.  It hurts to think that but I seriously believe it. To clarify, it's my partner's distant family. I am related to none this is basically twice removed kind of thing.

My point is that I just want acceptance and to be liked. I grew up in a broken home so I never knew what it was like to have a loving and supportive family. Not that I'm expecting them to. I know I'll never get that and that's life. Not everything has to be a happy ending.

Plus, I have read a few success stories from people who lost weight and said the saddest realization was that everyone treated them nicer thin compared to when they were overweight. I completely believe that because hellooooo I was skinny once too! People held the door for me more, guys would smile even flirt with me and cashiers were more friendly. So it's no wonder that people like that tend to have more compassion.

K enough rant let's get into today's workout.

Day 16 of 54 of FB FIT Round 1 Program. All are Fitness Blender workouts unless noted.

-49 Minute Kickboxing and Yoga Workout

-10 Minute Killer at Home Chest Workout

*Okay I had to mow the front and back lawn and they are both bigger than normal residential lawns and it really sucked. I'm so beat so no, i did not do FB FIT. I mean, have YOU ever mowed a lawn with an incline for an hour??? I have to mow hills and shit which is a thigh workout in itself I can wish it were flat grass to mow. As for the lawnmower...Here's da proof:

Apparently my Fitbit thinking handling a lawnmower is equal to mountain biking lol I did take a couple breaks as you can tell.