New Years Resolution

I have struggled with my weight since I was around 30 years old.

My height is 5'2.

Technically the first time I gained weight was actually when I turned 20 when I was 150 pounds. I was so disgusted with myself that I starved myself into losing 30 pounds in 2 months. I ended up getting hospitalized due to gallstones so I stopped starving myself.

The rest of my 20s I ended up gaining 10 more pounds and was stuck around the 130 pound range for the most part.

When I turned 30 I moved back to my home state and the pivotal point in my weight gain is something I'm embarrassed to admit. I was newly single and tried the online dating scene. Met a guy from there I thought was so right for me. Then the motherfucker ghosted me. Didn't answer any of my texts. I texted twice on 2 different days and he ignored me both days. Just before we were texting 24/7. And he dropped me just like that. It sucked. To be honest that got me in depressed mode and I didn't have any energy to do anything for a couple weeks. That's when I noticed my weight gain gradually increase.

I was weighing myself regularly that I definitely noticed the trend.

I ballooned up to 150 pounds again!! This time I was not able to get that weight off.

I'm currently 34. And I now weigh 185 pounds!! Completely embarrassed with myself. I just can't seem to get the weight off. I don't stuff myself with junk food all the time at all.

All of that was from stress and dwelling in the past.

2023 is a new year and this is my new years resolution to lose some weight. I intend to chronicle it along the way.

I recently started this app to help me boost the journey. It's called StepBet. You connect your Fitbit to the app and pledge to make your step goals each day. Each game is usually 6 weeks long, sometimes 3 weeks. To be honest the last 2 months I cheated and just waved my arms when I was too lazy to actually walk. However, I finally forced myself to stop that shit the second 2023 came around.

And so far so good!

I am finally using my treadmill again. I'm too embarrassed to walk outside so all my steps have been inside. We do have a tv in our basement so that's usually how I do my steps. Judt walking while watching some Netflix or HBOmax shows.

Proud to say that so far I have been keeping up my new goal to no longer cheat my steps. I vow to never go back to that senseless and stupid habit.

My ultimate goal is to weigh 120 pounds. Even though many women my height can even be as petite as 100 pounds or less!!!! Nah. 120 was a weight I was at 10 years ago and it fit me well so that will be my goal. 

Of course I will slowly implement more exercise aside from walking but I want to work my way up. Doing to total body strength, pilates, yoga everything eventually. I have learned in the past that the more burst of an exercise I do (from 0 to 100) it will be just as quick to quit and that's what ended up happening at my previous tries. I want to lose weight the right way and be toned in the all the right places.

This absolutely means the foods I eat should be much more healthier too. They say 90% of weight loss starts in the kitchen. I don't exactly agree with that percentage but it's got a kernal of truth to it and I need to shift my foods to better my food intake.

Towards the end of January so yay here we go!